This side of me, you will never know

athlete

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:27:00 GMT

And my soul is a dark place
But I know your love
I know your love
My soul is a dark place
And my soul is a lonely one
And I'm not alone
I'm not alone
My soul is a lonely one
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

unnatural selection

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:56:00 GMT

you
me
work
desktop in room

defying moments

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:27:00 GMT

because more often than not, we remember/are remembered for that one make/break action. and everything else before suddenly seems a sudden blur.

have a little faith

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:57:00 GMT

I walked a mile with pleasure;
she chatted all the way;
but left me none the wiser
for all she had to say.

I walked a mile with sorrow;
and ne'er a word said she;
but oh! the things I learned from her.
when sorrow walked with me.

-Robert Browning Hamilton

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:19:00 GMT

too often then not, I asked myself, wtf are you doing jar.

work

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:20:00 GMT

Lately, I have been consumed by work. And whatever free time left is spent with those I love, and catching up on shows I missed. Suddenly, time seemed so precious again.

May God be with those in Haiti.

awhile

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:17:00 GMT

2 years ago on this very date I was enlisted into the arm forces. I remember dreading that day and yet, felt a tinge of excitement within me at the very same time. The next 3 months was spent in what was probably the biggest life changing experience ever at an island off the far east of Singapore, Tekong. Over there I was a no lifer, no brainer. Just lots of pespiration, sunlight, lack of sleep, bad food and plenty of water. My fitness improved nonetheless, drastically infact. I was slowly accepting life in conscription during those 3 months. Then came my first long break. The "block" leave. I had a nice long break, so nice that I almost didnt know what it felt like being a "soldier". After a good 14 days of rest I was told to report to a new camp. This time, in the far west. They called it the school of infantry specialist. I called it, another hell hole. I spent the next 2 months there. More training, but with a tad little bit more of freedom too. Time passed there and I finally "graduated" from there. Was posted to a new place where I spent the remaining of my NS liablity. I hated that place. Hated it, hated my job. Soon, my dislike for the whole organization just grew and grew. I spent my remaining 1 year 4 months there sulking and for the most part, on medical leave.

I collected my identity card about a good 12 hours ago. The sense of relieve, and gladness that went thru me cant simply be penned down to words. For some, or perhaps most, they would have had a good NS experience. I had fun during my training phase in BMT and SISPEC. But I totally hated my vocation and unit. I walked out of that place for the last time(i sincerly hope so) happy and never looking back.

few

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:44:00 GMT

its just a few more days left
i could count it with my fingers
and i cant wait for the moment.

and the story goes

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:24:00 GMT

my throat hurts like an effing bitch
i think its time to look beyond

speaking

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:21:00 GMT

today, i lost almost all ability to speak as I just removed 3 of my wisdom teeth at a go. The gums are swelling inside now and yes, it hurts a tad bit and grows more painful until i take my painkillers. however, somehow this aint as painful as the septoplasty i had a couple months back for sure.

the aftermath

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:27:00 GMT

so heres the long due entry in this ghost web.

My 21st came, and went. Firstly, I would like to thank my sammybaby for making it all possible. With all the effort she put in to making it really memorable for me. ilu b :). Also everyone else that helped her out during the planning days, joette, sheryl, dalun, gel.
to my aunty joanne for her kind loaning of the automobile to us overnight.

I had fun on friday, just spending time with you guys. despite certain interuptions!
thanks to genesis and hualong too for being there.

then came saturday, with the booze and all. Thank you for all those who showed, even those that came for just a short while.
Esp to hualong and gene for taking special care of me in my very drunken state.
to reuben for sending sam home after i was gone.
I could barely recall the details of that night so dont bother probing.

I had fun, and id hope most of you people did too.

WIll fininsh NS on the 14 of December. Am really looking forward to it.
I have like 18 working days left i think.
another surgery scheldue on the 2nd of november at NDC for wisdom tooth extraction.
i pray to god that the pain wont kill me.

anyway, thanks again sammy, for everything.

dead

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:28:00 GMT

a dead ground

ah

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 04:13:00 GMT

post surgery recovery
omg it so hurts

whootss

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 06:21:00 GMT

i must admit, you are enticing.

shouldve said no

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 06:19:00 GMT

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

never

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:29:00 GMT

when will we ever be contented?
where does contention lie? and what next after? is it not like an ever rising thing.

i need to get out of this conscription.

in time

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:29:00 GMT

i can smell it
its coming.

Old man

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 05:10:00 GMT

Actually, looking back and at things now, the old man up there hasn't really been that harsh on me. In fact if I were to take pride in little things, be more optimistic, I could be considered really lucky. so maybe I might have wrongedthe big guy up there.

So forgive me god.

best there is

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:38:00 GMT

i will let you guys in on a secret
sammy baby cooks the best food ever
be jealous people
hahahahaha

time

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:33:00 GMT

I guess its time to face reality again
Actually, reality aint that bad.
I guess its just me to hate systems, to hate restrictions.
I have to be my own boss
In control

Oh well

Back to the slum hole come next week?

5 more months and counting, to the minute detail

Bose

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:38:00 GMT

A happy 21st to you Jonathan Peter Bose
You know I will miss you when you are gone

beautiful

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:18:00 GMT

I know some shits so hard to swallow
And I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow
But I know one fact
I'll be one tough act to follow
But you have to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes

thoughts

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:59:00 GMT

I have learnt alot
Thought alot
Re thought alot

So much to say yet my mind is so tired
I can barely open my eyes

I love you sammy baby, for everything you are and arent.

Okay, to be honest, I cannot find a reason to like my father. And after hearing all those stories about him, I cannot find a reason to want to acknowledge him. Then again, I wasnt around much to find a reason to hate him. And now his in bed, frail and possibly with death lurking, I kind of take pity for him. But still I must add this after what I learnt today and I wish I had the balls to say it in front of him but I doubt I would.

Father, you fucked up. You fucked up real real fucking bad. I dont know how you did it but no one person could mess up so many lives I feel.

Okay.

Kenn asked a question. Why did I bring Sam along? It wasnt a tough question and I had the answer the moment it came. I guess I was just too shy to say it then. But Sam is my life and is a part of everything that happens to me. I just thought that in situations like this, it was best to have her around.

And also, thnaks joe for the ride.

65

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:45:00 GMT

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
feet

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yesss

4. Do you plan outfits?
nope

5. What's the biggest thing you can throw?
table

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
the laptop

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i robbed a bank. or so i think.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
yup

9. What are you craving right now?
seafood

10. What's your favorite scary movie?
erh hardly watch eh

11. What comes to mind when i say Cabbage?
macdonalds

12. Are you emotional?
at times

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
hmm dont think so

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
bite

15. Do you like your hair?
okay ah not bad

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
why not? his treat right

18. What are you listening to right now?
" wa meng tii wa meng tii" hokkien

19. Are your parents strict?
nope

20. Would you go sky diving?
maybe on impulse

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
when im in the mood

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
once in a while

23. Do you rent movies often?
download

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
nope

25. How many countries have you visited?
damn little!

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
quite often

27. Ever been on a train?
yes

28. Brown or white eggs?
white

29. Why not hardboiled?
why yes?

30. Do you use chop sticks?
yes

31. Do you own a gun?
with my rifle and my buddy and me. for another 6 months, yes.

32. Can you use chop sticks?
yes yes yes

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
me

34. Are you too forgiving?
no never

35. Ever been in love?
yes

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
spending the day with me

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yes larh

38. Last time you cried?
when joette chiew stole my lollipop

39. What was the last question you asked?
cant remember

41. Do you have any tattoos?
yes

42. Are you sarcastic?
sometimes

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
the show?

44. Ever walked into a wall?
yes, ran into it actually

45. Sleep with the opposite sex ?
yes

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes

47. Is your hair curly?
no

48. What was the last CD you bought?
linkin park i think.

49. Do looks matter?
yes

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
maybe

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
quite

52. Do you like your life right now?
could be better

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
cant seem to do that

54. Can you handle the truth?
yes

55. Do you have good vision?
nope

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
yes

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
often enough

60. What is your favorite animal?
dogs

61. Where was your default picture taken?
what default

62. Can you hula hoop?
yes damn pro

63. Do you have a job?
nsf

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
canon ixus

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes

worn

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 22:37:00 GMT

i am so tired
so sick of work
i wanna die alrdy!

Secrets

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:30:00 GMT

I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past
So send me off to bed for evermore

ghastly

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:14:00 GMT

The echoes of my own footstep
The sound of my own breathing
The pounding of my heart against my chest
The still air

An all too familiar, forgotten scene
Some feelings stay will always just remain at the back of your head

when my time comes

i will catch up to you

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:46:00 GMT

The blue shell is coming
so I'll go ahead
If you hang behind
it'll hit me instead
but never look back
cause I'm down but not dead
I'll catch up to you

cloud

Sat, 30 May 2009 04:58:00 GMT

i just cant seem to find the right words
the right reasons
lately

Thu, 14 May 2009 23:46:00 GMT

And I'll be gone
For quite a bit.